Wall St. Gossip — Uber, Jay Z, Softbank and Thor

New York’s unemployment rate is at 4.3%, so there’s no need to raise the minimum wage, as I fill you in on gossip about Uber’s $10 billion debt (sic) to Softbank, Jay Z’s secret buy-back clause and Thor the serpent slayer.

Softbank lent Uber $10 billion (sic) and as part of that deal it got stake in the ride-share ride-hail gig app company. Jay Z, Mr. New York State of Mind (sic), is one of the larger investors of Uber but he has a buy-back clause at a discount of Uber’s current valuation. That valuation has dropped from $70 billion to $40 billion (sic) yet Jay Z got in when it was ZERO! The logic of the loan deal with Softbank is that the $10 billion (sic) is paid back to Softbank, now one of the fellow owners, a free owner might I add, without-no money put into Uber other than that LOAN. So all of the other owners owe it! I think Jay Z is now out.

We have to do it this way to protect the free market. Thor! Thor! Thor!

[image from Hello Giggles]