What Men Or Women Want Out Of Life.

After a break-up, and in my case a divorce, I realized ‘this universal truth’. I think that is a ‘pretty’ bold statement except perhaps it is already time-tested. Men are attracted through his eyes and women are attracted through her nose. What ‘truth’ I realized has to do with this.

Truth be told, the lifestyle I shared prior to my divorce was ‘perfect’ and comfortable. So, as Adele said, I just need to find another just like ‘you’. Though does anyone ever got that?

“I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.”

It is the song that stayed with me throughout this whole time of bouncing back and reckoning where to find ‘true love’ that is stable and nice. A guy just has to substitute the girl (gays can do their own love-math) in the same comfortable lifestyle, so long as the ‘tax details’ are similar enough to replicate it. You know what I mean? Our income, our free-time interests (I mean, everyone watches the latest hit box-office movie and listens to top 40, so its not like ‘a dirty trick’). To a guy these things are just ‘salad dressing’ any hard working person can buy at the ‘store’. When a guy is ‘really honest’ with himself, he wants his idea of a ‘babe’ except if he speaks up in polite company, using his usually limited gender-respectful vocabulary, it comes out ‘gawd-awful’.

She (Adele) told me she wanted to write a song about her heartbreak…that was how she put it. She told me a little bit about the guy who broke up with her, and I think maybe part of my contribution was to help keep the song really simple and direct—very personal.

“Someone Like You” is a love song from the point of view of a woman who shows up unexpectedly at her married ex’s front door, only to be confronted by the fact that he’s moved on and has a life and a wife. Whereas she’s never been able to let go.”

It is so easy for a guy – like it is just about his ‘erection’. What is it for women – well, for all women, I propose it is the guy’s work. This discussion presumes one ‘holy thing’ – that we’re middle-class. In some parts of the world, maybe any job – but I’m not there today, I’m here (in graduate school, owning my own place and moving up in the work world). The scent of a man is produced by his work. There are women who prefer men who do physical work to men who do desk-work.

There are women who prefer the men who work at a desk (the ‘mental worker’). That’s why ‘Blue Collar Millionaire’, on MSNBC, is as popular as their shows about ‘Wall Street’.

Blank Space, is about having that ‘life style’ I first mentioned, because the model in that video is too generic. Taylor Swift has not chosen a type of guy yet and usually ‘life style’ like ‘salad dressing’ we can all buy at the ‘store’ is easier to figure out.

How complicated can it get for a woman? Once again, because there is not a lack of want, the choices available can be multiplicitous, that it would make a ‘guy’s’ head spin. In my case, I think if I had a job that was better suited to ‘her’ traditional sense, she would have been more satisfied because after having purchased ‘that life style’, people start to look for more ways to tailor their life. That is how multiplicity can work to confuse the matter. Two desk-jobs aren’t the same to a woman, though many do not ‘bother’ more than the ‘job title’ in today’s multiplicitous work world.

The talk gets ‘pretty’ basic at this point, but the knot seems to be that we and the other can bend ourselves into any ‘which way’, because the ‘life style’ (that can be purchased by a ‘Blue Collar Millionaire’ or a ‘Wall Street Wolf’) is so good or because the commitment to marriage is so high holy. Except, the ritual and rigor of courtship is meant to be high holy as well and marriage is but one celebration in such a union. Though the prevailing approach is rather shallow and materialistic – perhaps because we don’t know enough about what it is like to have had ‘that life style’, where the materialism means less than the Life.